Betty told Danny they could get him help to cope with the attack, but he said nothing could change his mind.
He had already scheduled out holiday deliveries of flowers for his wife, Sarah, and birthday presents for his then 3-year-old daughter, Katherine.
Danny also intentionally shot himself in a spot that let his family have an open casket at his funeral service. His father had an open casket after he hanged himself years prior, making for a graphic viewing that wasn’t suitable for kids. Danny didn’t want Catherine to experience the same pain he had.
“Although he didn’t get to see his father, he wanted Katherine to see him,” Betty said. “Danny, to the bitter end, was thinking of someone else.”
Before his last breath, Danny asked his mother to fight sexual assault in the military. He told her she’s a force of nature and nothing can stop her.
The call ended tragically.
A chaplain and a casualty officer from the U.S. Naval Academy were at Betty’s door within an hour. The Navy flew her out to San Diego, where Danny chose to transfer after he was assaulted, for the funeral.
Betty said the Navy told her not to share that Danny died by suicide. She refused to be silenced, however.
“Danny had to be silent. I don’t,” Betty said.
Betty got to work. She sold her 74-year-old, family-run beer distribution business in June 2020. She then started the HM2 Buck for Hope Foundation, which takes its name from Danny’s role as a hospital corpsman or HM2.
Sexual Assault, Mental Health Issues
The first problem Betty uncovered is that commanding officers handled sexual assault allegations. That posed a potential conflict of interest when a supervisor doesn’t want to look bad as sexual misconduct happens in their unit.
Betty also learned that Danny only had one psychiatric visit. He then had two choices. He could stay at the post where he was assaulted or transfer back to his original duty station. Danny chose the latter and returned to California.
Sexual assaults are common in the military.
The Department of Defense tallied 8,942 reports of sexual assault involving service members as victims or suspects in fiscal year 2022. That’s up by about 1 percent from the year prior.
Commanders issued discipline in 2,117 cases, about two-thirds of the reports where supervisors had authority and jurisdiction to consider taking action. Another 1,031 cases did not lead to discipline because of insufficient evidence or honoring the victim’s request not to pursue action. About 1 percent of the cases were false or baseless, the Pentagon said.
The Navy is not immune to these problems, counting 1,988 sexual assault reports in fiscal year 2022. That’s a 5.6 percent increase from the year before.
Department of Defense spokesperson Cmdr. Nicole Schwegman said sexual assaults in the military reflect a societal problem.
“The military is made up of a cross section of our society and unfortunately, sexual violence is a crime that plagues our nation,” Schwegman said. “That said, we are taking action to ensure everyone serves in a climate of dignity, respect, and inclusion.”
